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AllSimpson.com is the
unofficial fanlisting for the
beautiful and talented actress
Jessica Simpson. We provide the
biography, discography, latest news,
pictures, and much more. I hope you
enjoy your stay, and come back soon! |
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:: June 2005 :: |
| 20
June
2005 -
The Spoof |
| Jessica
Simpson's IQ--150! |
In front of a
gathering of reporters at the Regent-Beverly
Wilshire hotel, Jessica Simpson calmly said: "I'm
about to drop a bomb." After a second, there was a
loud wind break. Waving her left hand behind her and
toward the press, Simpson smiled. "And now the news.
I have a 150 I.Q."
Simpson claimed that she recently took the "noted"
Tickle IQ test and scored a 150, adding "I even got
the questions right with the numbers." The once
"other" virgin now "popped "diva then put on a pair
of sunglasses. "Now that I'm smart, I should wear
these." When a reporter asked shouldn't those be
glasses? Simpson replied: "How could I keep two
glasses strapped to my head, Silly."
Most members of the press greeted the announcement
with skepticism, especially after a short division
challenge. Simpson pulled out a calculator. "It's my
second favorite handheld device that needs
batteries." However, proud Father/Manager, Joe
Simpson, was quick to convert unbelievers. "My
Jessie is a genius. It's that slut Lindsay Lohan
who's a moron. She did Herbie Fully Loaded, who
co-stars with a VW! A moron and a Nazi." Questions
to Joe Simpson along the lines of was this simply
another one of his smear tactics to elevate his
daughter above Lohan were met with "maybe you ought
to ask the moron Nazi's father that question during
his one phone call from prison."
Jessica then addressed the new burdens and benefits
of her startling discovery. "I don't really feel any
different, but now I look at a map of the United
States and I think: 'Oh that's where I live, on the
left part. And it's like: 'Oh, I guess I do have an
I.Q.'" And the negatives? "I get lots of spam. WAY
MORE since before I took the test. I guess people
just want to touch my smartness."
A final question was asked of Simpson. Was this an
attempt to divert attention from the rumors that she
had slept with both Jackass stars Johnny Knoxville
and Bam Margera? "Oh," replied Simpson, "we didn't
do any sleeping." To which Joe Simpson added: "My
Jessie might be a slut, but she's no moron."
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| ©
Copyright 2005. All rights reserved. |
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