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| :: Jessica
Simpson Interviews |
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>> Apesheet Interview |
SIMPSON: Hello,
Doodle Bob's Snicker factory.
APESHEET: Sorry, I must have the wrong number. This
is the ApeSheet returning a call from Jessica
Simpson.
SIMPSON: Oh, cool. This is Jessica. Didn't I call
you guys like a month ago?
APESHEET: Right. Sorry about that. We've been really
bad at returning messages lately. You said something
about being upset with the Super Bowl. Big Panthers
fan, are you?
SIMPSON: Who? Oh, were they one of the teams or
something? I didn't really pay attention to the
game. I don't like sports much, except maybe figure
skating. Is that a sport? Anyhow, what was I talking
about?
APESHEET: Good question. All I have so far is that
you don't like football, and you're upset about the
Super Bowl.
SIMPSON: Oh yeah! The Super Bowl. You know I
performed at the Super Bowl. I flew all the way back
to Texas just to be in that stupid half-time show,
but does anybody remember that I was there? No. They
just wanna talk about Janet Jackson's saggy boob.
God, it was so nasty. Like, who cares about some old
woman's boob?
APESHEET: Well, I guess that would depend on which
old woman and what you consider old. I would agree
Janet's boob wasn't much to ogle, but she's the same
age as Salma Hayek, and I would pay cash money for a
good look at those sweater puppies. And, what about
Isabella Rossellini? She's in her 50s, and I still
wouldn't mind seeing her naked?
SIMPSON: Who? That woman from that movie with Goldie
Hawn when she's dead and that Die Hard guy?
APESHEET: Exactly. Death Becomes Her is what you're
talking about.
SIMPSON: Nick and I watch that all the time.
She's naked in that and her boobs do look pretty
nice.
APESHEET: That's not really her. That girl from JAG
was her body double in that movie.
SIMPSON: Catherine Bell? She's got great boobs!
APESHEET: Can't argue that. So what did you want to
talk about again?
SIMPSON: I don't really remember. I just know
that I was really upset that Janet got all that
attention for the half-time show. I wasn't even
mentioned and my 23-year-old boobs are a lot tighter
than hers. I've got these big juicy watermelons and
she just has those shapeless granny sacks. Don't you
think I deserve more attention?
APESHEET: Absolutely. Next time, try taking off your
top. |
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Jessica Simpson
Gallery |
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::
Jessica Simpson Bikini
Collection
:: |
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::
Jessica Simpson Cleavage
Collection :: |
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::
Jessica Simpson See-Thru
Collection :: |
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::
Jessica Simpson Leggy
Collection
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::
Jessica Simpson
Cameltoe Collection :: |
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